Stats came through, will report tomorrow

January 30, 2016

The fourteen year record for gigabytes downloaded or printed pages, will be completely shattered, and we will get close to record highs for hits, distinct visits and page views.”

Sources such as Google Scholar and Scopus show of course that this ‘success’ is illusory because there is zero interest in citing the drivel. There are no longer any new citations even by Ron himself (which previously accounted for 99% of them) because he cannot get published even in well-known loony journals such as Progress in Physics … and his own journal failed ignominiously (apparently also alienating its publisher into the bargain).  Some time ago we set up (with Ron’s inadvertent aid) our own system for monitoring his ‘impact’; not only upon the scientific world as a whole, but also upon his own moronic sputniks. This subtle monitoring method is churning away quietly  in the background and, every day that passes, it becomes a greater potential embarrassment to Ron. When he finally detects it, or we divulge it, his complete isolation and irrelevance will be made glaringly obvious.

One Response to “Monitoring”

  1. An actual scientist Says:

    Let’s do a quick peer review of Ron’s ‘scientometrics’ as they apply to his Autobiography:

    “In January 0.41323 gigabytes of the Autobiography volumes one and two were downloaded, this means 113,225 printed pages single spaced 12 point font. The printed pages to hits ratio for the autobiography is 366.74, because there have been 309 hits. This is a small font and the printed books use a large font, with about 1.5 spacing with tighter margins. They can be seen in the blue box above my coat of arms on the home page of So roughly about 200,000 pages as they appear in the blue box have been downloaded in January 2016.”

    Er, not quite. The two volumes of autobiography (two PDFs) add up to 4.65 MB of data and 610 pages, or ~0.00762 MB/page.

    Ron says that 413.23 MB of the Autobiography were downloaded in January. A simple calculation reveals that this in fact corresponds to 54,209 printed pages. So the figure claimed by Ron is fully 379% of the actual, verifiable number of pages downloaded.

    Who needs actual scientometrics, if you can just make them up?

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